Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I'm so sad

Tonight I am just so sad.  So very sad.  Yet as I get ready to sleep, I'm asking God to give me His joy that is new every morning.  I only want to be sad this one day and I want to move on.

The Husband and I would love to live in a ranch or rambler-type home.  And we love our neighborhood.  There are not many 1-story homes in our neighborhood.  In an amazing, too-good-to-be-true set of circumstances, we found a really neat ranch home for sale in the neighborhood.  We walked through the house multiple times with a realtor-friend and decided to make an offer.  This was in July.  

I really felt this was The House.  There was such a peace that came over me in that house that I cannot explain.  The way all of the events played out, we felt that God was throwing open the door and almost putting the house in our laps.

We did our wheeling and dealing with the realtor and the seller would barely budge from their price.  So mid-August, we walked away.  Maybe we thought they'd come after us since the house had been on the market for a year and we were their first offer.  I guess we thought the price was so high it would sit there for another six months and we'd make an offer in the spring.

I drive by the house at least two times a week.  In my mind I already knew how I was going to arrange the kitchen cupboards and what flowers I wanted to plant in the front.  The Husband admitted just yesterday that he drives by the house multiple times a week, too.  So we contacted our realtor again late yesterday to see about putting in another offer and found out we are too late.  There is an accepted offer on the house.

And tonight my mind is playing the "you should have offered more"..."you should have tried harder"..."every other house you look at you compare to this one"..."you snooze you lose".

I trust God.
I believe God has a great house in mind for us.
If this was The House and we missed the opportunity, we aren't going to be punished for it.
God wants to bless us and not punish us.

Yet my feelings are valid and I'm just so sad.
How could this be the ending when it felt that everything was falling in to place.
We did feel we were supposed to wait and walk away.
Yet, this isn't the ending I dreamed of.

Can any of you relate to this?  

In between my tear storms, I have been able to  pray and ask God to bless the new owner and hope that they feel the peace in that house that I felt.

And very importantly, I have spoken out to God my trust in Him.

And I look for the hope of joy coming in the morning.  I don't want to stay in this sad funk for more than this one night.  

If you are in a funk, I am going to pray for you.  I'm going to pray that you would be able to acknowledge your feelings and then ask God to give you the strength to move one.  That He would open your eyes to see the amazing and wonderful things around you.  

So as I ramble on and on here...know that I am sad for the loss of this house...but I am looking forward to the miracle of joy that I know awaits me in the morning.

Luke 6:21 from The Message:

"...You're blessed when the tears flow freely. 
   Joy comes with the morning."

May  your joy come in amazing floods in the new day.  I know mine will because He is Faithful.

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